How To Raise A Fool

Dunce Cap - TV Tropes


I once read, in the Presbyterian Journal, that there are certain ways to train up a child that will lead to his or her uncertain ruin. If you want to raise a fool, follow these steps:


1. Give them everything they want. This way they will grow up believing that the world owes them a living.

2. Never give them spiritual training. Wait until they are twenty-one so they can decide for themselves if God is real

3. Avoid using the word “wrong”. It may make them feel guilty and their school work may suffer.

4. Do not make them work at home. Do their work for them, so they will learn at an early age to leave responsibility to others.

5. Let them watch anything they want, so they can learn from television how to get along in the world.

6. Give them spending money so they won’t be frustrated with having to earn their own.

7. Do not make rules for them – you might make them angry at you.

8. Make every attempt to be their best friend and never a parent.

9. When they get bad grades in school, blame the teachers.

10. When they get in trouble at school. blame the principal.

11. When they lose their jobs, blame their bosses.

12. When they get caught with alcohol and drugs, blame their friends.

13. Let them experiment with sex, drugs and alcohol so they will be able to make educated decisions. Then you take care of all their babies.

14. Buy them a car as soon as they can drive so they can have the freedom to go wherever they want. But, they will always come back to your home, run up your bills and eat your groceries.

15. Then ask yourself, “Who’s the fool?”